Becoming Our Own Elders:

Somatically exploring adulthood in a culture finding its way back to wisdom.

My mom, Nora Shourd (left) featured in a mural at Pinnantak Garden in Oakland, California.

As Americans, we’re facing an uncomfortable truth that is long overdue. Our rights, democracy, and freedom are no longer guaranteed (they never were). The narcissistic white men running our country don’t pretend to have our best interests in mind (they never did). The true face of power has been revealed. 

For some of us, the reality of what we’re facing in this country is a kind of calling-in to adulthood.

Healthy adulthood—which I define as the skill sets needed to sustainably cohabit this planet—is something many of us didn't have modeled well for us as kids. Our parents’ best may have been an improvement on what their parents gave them, but it wasn’t enough to prepare us for the compounded social, political, and environmental crises we’re facing. We’ve spent much of our lives searching for role models and corrective experiences. 

What is this elusive adulthood we seek? This moment calls us to redefine what it means to be an adult—one rooted in wisdom, resilience, and community. In response to this inquiry, here are a few somatic concepts and practices you might find helpful as things continue to fall apart:

GIVING YOUR BODY A VOICE

When we think of adulthood, we usually think about things like taxes and childcare, but it turns out that what is needed to establish groundedness and strength in our bodies is not dissimilar to what is needed to strengthen and defend our democracy. In somatic terms, we are a system of nerves and tissues interacting with many other systems of nerves and tissues every day. Our democracy isn’t entirely unlike a human body and nervous system; it’s built on interconnectedness. If the relationships we cultivate—inside our bodies and out—are healthy and accountable, we survive and thrive. If there is rampant harm and division, our systems falter and self-destruct. You are not a savior, a martyr, or a victim—you're just a normal human being. Taking responsibility for the regulation of your own nervous system means: you rest when you need to rest, you ask for support when you need support, and you give your body a voice.

SOMATIC LISTENING PRACTICE

Somatics is an approach that recognizes the body as central to our emotional, psychological, and social experiences. It teaches us to listen to our bodies, process emotions physically, and build resilience through embodied practices. For this exercise, set aside 20 minutes in a quiet place. Gather a blindfold, a pen and paper, and some water to drink. Find a comfortable position—this could mean lying on your back with your legs elevated, sitting on a meditation cushion, or even standing.

You’ll be spending the next 20 minutes asking your body a series of questions and tuning in to its responses. The blindfold will help you focus inward on bodily sensations.

1. Begin by taking a moment to connect with yourself. What does it feel like to truly connect? How do you do it? Remove your blindfold and jot down a few words in response.

2. Shift your focus to a specific area in your body. What sensations do you notice? Is there a temperature—warm, cool, neutral? Does the sensation move or remain still? Does it feel light or heavy? Is there a visual aspect to it? Remove your blindfold and write down your observations.

3. As you continue focusing on this sensation, ask yourself: If this sensation had a voice, what would it say? Does a story begin to emerge? Let your body’s responses guide you, and write down any insights that come up.

TOLERATING DISCOMFORT

As a social justice activist, I’ve been against “the system” my whole life. I’ve taken democracy for granted, and regarded it as a very low bar for social organization. Similarly, in my 20s and 30s, I took a lot of my body’s basic needs, like water and sleep, for granted. But a “system” is a set of things working together as parts of an interconnected network. Somatics has taught me that the “basics,” both for my body and my country, are in fact foundational. Without a strong foundation, our systems—whether it’s a system of nerves in our body or a polity of humans that need to sustainably cohabit this planet—fall apart.

SLOW PROGRESS IS WHERE THE JUICE IS

Things are not OK, it’s important to feel that. It’s also important to recognize that we can still exercise agency and discernment in our actions. Be patient with yourself. As long as the change you’re cultivating is toward growth and away from the harmful status quo, progress will come. Change happens gradually, “in small sips,” as we say in somatic terms, or in amounts that we can absorb into our muscle and tissue memory. That’s literally the only way the nervous system can be rewired to respond differently under pressure. Even if a comet hits the planet and this all ends tomorrow, the progress you experience today is still worth it.

SOMATIC RELEASE PRACTICE

Even as adults, we must validate and have compassion for even our most infantile feelings because they are asking for our attention. This can mean identifying internalized shame messaging (“I’m bad. I can’t do this. I’m not good enough.”). It can mean moving through fear (“I don't know what to do.”). When you feel frustrated about what's happening in our country and world, it’s important to stomp, shake, cry, dance, wiggle, shout, yawn, and laugh. When given permission, the body is brilliant at releasing and expressing stuck energy. When we learn to join with and get curious about strong sensations and emotions, they tend to dissipate and resolve on their own.

WE HAVE TO TREAT OURSELVES WELL

Becoming an adult doesn't mean that you don’t deserve pleasure (consensual!), rest (hibernation!), and joy (it’s our birthright!)... being an adult requires all of these things too. In order to share your gifts and rebuild the world, you must treat yourself well. Our bodies are smart. Somatic practice is a recognition of the little-known fact that our guts contain 90% of the neurotransmitters in the human body, 200–600 million neurons, which is more than the spinal cord. Our guts are our “second brains” and this is where the concept of “gut feelings” or  “intuition” comes from. Finding our way back to wisdom means listening to our guts, literally, and learning our body’s unique somatic language.

YOU CAN’T DO THIS ALONE

When you’re four years old, you love to prove that you can open a can or brush your teeth “by yourself.” Real adulting doesn't happen in isolation; it happens in community, in relationships. For the rest of our lives, we are going to need to do the work of building the world we want. There’s a lot of destruction going on around us, of institutions and social structures that we were told would serve and protect us. This is enraging. Also, in a sick and immensely devastating way, it’s an opportunity and an immense challenge. “You have to act as if it were possible to radically transform the world,” Angela Davis said, “and you have to do it all the time.”

IN CONCLUSION

In the context of a country that has yet to grow up, becoming an adult is an act of resistance and healing from systems of domination and inequality that are designed to keep us scared and selfish. Together, we must practice an adulthood that is leading us toward something wise for this planet. By practicing an adulthood rooted in wisdom, resilience, and collective care, we’re building the future we long for. With a little time and patience, we might even become our own elders.

1. Join my upcoming webinar, ‘Becoming Our Own Elders,’ a 2-hour online workshop designed to help you stay grounded in the context of the current political and social reality we're facing. The workshop will include a somatic practice, lecture and group discussion. Dates are March 23rd Sunday: 1:00pm-3:00pm EST / 10:00am-12:00pm PST / 6:00pm-8:00pm UTC AND March 24th, Monday: 8:00pm-10:00pm EST/5:00pm-7:00pm PST. The cost is $20-75 sliding scale. Please choose the price point that works for you. No one turned away for lack of funds. The number of participants will cap at 20 to ensure everyone can participate meaningfully.

2. Want to deepen your practice? I currently have space in my practice for three new clients. I am a certified Somatic Practitioner and an Embodiment Coach trained in trauma transformation. I can guide you towards the fulfillment of your professional and personal goals. I see the majority of my clients online but also work in-person in Oakland, CA. To explore our fit, you can sign up for a free discovery call and learn more at shourdsomatics.com.

   

   Bio: I’m Sarah Shourd, Somatic Healer, Social Justice Movement-Strategy Coach and Narrative Change Leader. My experiences—surviving solitary confinement, leading social justice movements, and healing from personal, systemic and intergenerational trauma—have equipped me with the tools to support you on your unique healing and empowerment journey. In 2009, I was living in Syria when I was captured near the unmarked Iran-Iraq border and imprisoned by the Iranian government incommunicado in solitary confinement for 410 days. This experience has been a springboard for my work for healing, justice and collective liberation over the last 15 years.